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2025 – What a &@(#!ng Year!

2025 – What a &@(#!ng Year!

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Do you remember there was a Netflix movie that came out at the end of 2020 called Death to 2020? It was a mockumentary trying to make light of what an awful, awful year that was, hoping a little satire might make the pain more bearable.

Well, then along came 2025, the year of the MAGA apotheosis, that made 2020 look like a walk in the park.

This year was a disaster, Rhonda, a complete and utter disaster!

Yet, looking back, as a family we did so much in 2025. There was plenty of personal growth and accomplishment and the year could hardly be called a disaster from our domestickal perspective. We had some amazing times, and kept our chins up as fascism trampled its way across America.

Here is a retrospective.

January – The People’s March

We went to Washington DC and joined the People’s March on January 18. While there were a lot of people there, the energy was muted compared to what I remember from the absolutely gynormous Women’s March in January 2017. We were in the Trump 2.0 era now, with liberal Democrats reeling from the 2024 election loss.

My Triumphant Return to the Stage

The early part of 2025 was theatre-intensive. Aileen and I continued with our Pennsylvania Independence Awards adjudicator duties, which typically take us into April. We saw over twenty (20) high school musicals together.

A promo shot of the cast of Arsenic and Old Lace

At the same time, we were in rehearsal for a play we were both acting in, along with Tiernan. We were doing this while also working, and in Tiernan’s case finishing his first year at Kutztown University. Whew!

This was a dream role for Aileen: Abby Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace, first played by Josephine Hull in 1941. The play was being put up by Fleetwood Community Theatre, and we all auditioned together and amazingly all got cast. It was my first time performing on stage since high school over 40 years ago!

The folks at the community theatre were wonderful, and we had a great time. It was a learning experience for me – to at least learn that I could still memorize lines and not be paralyzed by stage fright, though unlike Aileen and Tiernan I had a small part. Much gratitude to friends and family who came out to support us.

Another exciting thing happened in the early Spring of this year – Lionel proposed to his girlfriend, Bianka! He surprised her on a “birthday” trip, making it out to be a special occasion for his birthday, but it was really a moment for him to break out an engagement ring. Our son has a fiancée now – they are growing up so fast!

April – Out on the Town and No Kings I

The first weekend of April was our show dates for Arsenic. Later that month, we saw our last high school show for PIA, and mid-month Aileen and I went to see Ani DiFranco at Union Transfer, a music venue in downtown Philly. It was a chance for us to feel young and hip again (OK, maybe not young, as we had to stand the whole time – achy!). Aileen even ran into someone from her “vagabond days” in the city – the Vagabond Acting Troupe being her theatre company that was founded in the 1990s, before her kids were born. She reminisced with him while I hovered patiently nearby.

The next weekend we got see the premiere of a short film that Aileen and Tiernan were in. They filmed it in the summer of 2024, and it was shown to cast and crew (and family members) on April 19th. The film has since made the rounds in some short film festivals. It’s about a family gathering, based on the creator’s real family, some of whom we met at the premiere. A lot of the crew were folks who work on Saturday Night Live, which is kind of cool.

You can watch the film here: Revere Street (PW: mcginley).

The cast of Revere Street at the premiere, April 19, 2025

Immediately after the premiere, Aileen and I headed into the city again – this time for the No Kings march. It was a bit chaotic, and again I got the impression there wasn’t a lot of energy behind protesting the Trump administration – not like I saw in the first go around. And he had already decimated the government with his unconstitutional DOGE program, which gave a billionaire donor more power than he ever should have had.

Come on, America, stand up for yourself!

May and June – Europa!

Yes, that’s right – this is the year we went to Europe. It’s no wonder 2025 seems like such a full year, since we spent over two weeks of it on the other side of the ocean.

In mid-May, Aileen, Tiernan, and I left the troubles of America behind and headed for Paris and Rome, and other spots in Italy. It was a trip of a lifetime for me, as I had always wanted to visit those two iconic cities. Aileen also wanted to show me the Cinque Terre, which she had been to on a visit when Lionel was very young, just before Tiernan was born. We hit some other major Italian cities as well – Milan, Pisa, Lucca, Florence – even if only for brief spells.

With all that was going on, we were a little worried about what it would be like as Americans traveling abroad. We even vaguely considered that there might be complications when returning home. Our worries proved unfounded. We had no trouble crossing borders; all our tranportation difficulties were related to the language barrier and the chaos of Italy’s train system (we went with public tranportation the whole way). Once in Europe, America seemed so far away I wondered if its problems were even real.

Totally owning being tourists in Italy, 2025.

I am so grateful to have had this experience, and can’t thank Aileen enough for putting it together. I know it was a huge amount of work to schedule all the transportation and lodging, and she did it all, with me only acting as a consultant for approvals. Our Rome lodging was right next to the Colosseum!

It was a thrill for me to be exposed to so much ancient, medieval, and Baroque history, and to learn how to naviagate an unfamiliar milieu, though it was also a challenge. As a travelling trio, we learned as much about ourselves as about the countries we were visiting. You can read my Italy trip retrospective here.

I’d say we got bit by travel bug for sure, and I would happily repeat the experience – maybe next time with a trip to the British Isles, another place I’ve never been. Though as squirrely as things are getting here at the end of 2025, I wonder if it would be wise for an American to travel overseas, at this juncture.

No Kings II

Shortly after our return to the United States was another No Kings event. This was the one that was taking place at the same time that Cheeto Mussolini was trying to get off on a military parade. Aileen and I debated going into the city, but decided in the end that it would make just as much sense to find a rally closer to home. We ended up going to one in Pottstown, about half an hour away.

It wasn’t a march, it was just a crowd standing along the side of the road with signs for a couple of hours. But it was really well attended, despite the fact that it was raining. We got lots of supporting honks from passing cars (and a few middle fingers from MAGA types), and for the first time in 2025, the energy of the protesters was at the levels I remembered from the first time the loser was President. It felt good to be part of the anti-Trump movement, as the wannabe dictator was sending federal troops into Los Angeles, starting his war against the citizens of his own country.

The Summer of Alice

Some beautiful art from The Arts Bubble production of “Alice by Heart.”

Even while we were in Europe, Aileen was already working on the summer show for The Arts Bubble. The show everyone wanted to do was Alice by Heart, and after some tense weeks waiting to iron out an issue with acquiring the rights, we got the approval and the show was on! I thought it was a great choice for The Arts Bubble, as their previous shows have tended to be odd and imaginative ones, and Alice by Heart fits the bill.

In addition to the summer musical, The Arts Bubble was also doing an educational production workshop of a short play based on Alice in Wonderland, for younger students. If you don’t know what that means, it’s where students come in and write their own play and get experience on what goes behind creating a theatrical production. There’s often a fee the students have to pay, but not at The Arts Bubble, which is always free – or rather, “pay what you can” – and relies on donations.

As has happened in previous summers since The Arts Bubble started, I became something of a “theatre widower” with Aileen being so busy. I did take the occasion to visit my Dad and his wife at their beach condo, and to spend some time with my Mom. While I was up at my Mom’s, I happened upon a really cool edition of Alice in Wonderland in a Little Free Library, which of course I snagged to show to Aileen – it even made it onto the display table at the show.

Tiernan, as the Jabberwock, stares Alice down in The Arts Bubble’s production of “Alice by Heart“

The production of Alice by Heart was just incredible. Aileen directs collaboratively, letting the actors make choices and find their characters. Her cast of high school and college aged kids, as always, demonstrated that young students have as much talent as professionals. I don’t think I ever saw Aileen happier this year than when she was watching the Arts Bubble kids perform. She has said that it was one of the most fulfilling productions she could remember doing in a long time.

Thank you to the many family members who came out to support The Arts Bubble!

Summer Endings and Beginnings

Would you believe that, even as Aileen was directing Alice by Heart and helping with the Alice in Wonderland youth workshop, she was also in rehearsal for another show? It was a second dream role for her: Sister Aloysius Beauvier in Doubt: A Parable. The production was being put up by a new theatre company called Journey Theatric Sanctuary, and it was all the way out in Harrisburg, so that was a long drive for rehearsals!

I actually almost missed seeing the show, because I caught COVID while I was visiting my Mom (which means I did miss Lionel and Bianka’s engagement party, hmph). I went on an antiviral, and tested negative just in time to drive up from Virginia to catch the show on the one weekend it went up. All that hard work for just a few performances; it had been the same for Arsenic and Old Lace. But it was worth it for yet another triumphant moment in Aileen’s very long theatre career (it started when she was 7, she’ll tell you).

Jess Mooney as Sister James, Griffin Yeyna as Father Flynn, and Aileen Lynch-McCulloch as Sister Aloysius in Journey Theatric Sanctary’s production of “Doubt: A Parable”

Other things that happened in August: I launched my Substack, which is where I now do my posts of a political or social commentary nature, with this blog reserved for more personal stuff. I had my last visual therapy appointment, something I had been doing all year in an attempt to fix my bad double vision. I’m not sure if it helped a great deal, but it did teach me a lot about how vision works and gave me some good eye exercises to do.

A big life event was that I lost my job. My contract was not renewed for 2026, and as the company where I worked ends its fiscal year in August, the 31st was my last day. Once again, I was on the dole, looking for work. It had gone really well when the same thing happened in 2023, but this year the job market has not been as kind to me, and I’m still unemployed at year end.

But life goes on, and we must face reality, however grim (it’s not grim, I’m being dramatical). In September, Gavin took a long trip to Alaska, and Potato the cat moved in with us. Another new thing was that we started going into Philly to hang out with some of Aileen’s other old friends from the vagabond days. We called ourselves the “Philly Clown Party” and plotted further protests against the vile fascists running our country.

October – No Kings III and Much More!

In October, Aileen took me to the Philadephia Zoo, which I mention mainly because it was my first time going, odd since I’ve lived in the area since 2018. But the real thrill of the month was the No Kings protest on the 18th. We attended two rallies, one in Pottstown (same place as in June), and then another in West Chester, which had been scheduled for later in the day, making it possible for us to attend both.

Both events were well attended, and man, was that West Chester event jammed full of people! There was so much enthusiasm and it was thrilling to be a part of it. Aileen and I both dressed as clowns, and carried our awesome hand-made signs. I got such a high out of the experience I just wanted to do it all over again.

Aileen and I enjoy a meal after the 10/18/2025 No Kings protest in West Chester, PA

What else could we do, as mere citizens with almost no power, except to use our voice to protest the depredations of the administration? It was depressing to read about the awful ICE raids, and to witness our government paralyzed by an ineffectual legislature, and corrupted and looted by kleptocrats, but we just kept living our lives.

We went out to Reading to see Squirrel Nut Zippers, then later – for the really thrilling concert of the year (sorry, Squirrels) – to Philadelphia for Laufey! She is a very talented, up and coming young singer-songwriter and her live show was awesome!

The first weeked in November, just after Halloween, we saw Terror of Mechagodzilla at the Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville, which was a lot of fun. We don’t usually get to see old monster movies on the big screen, and with a large, appreciative audience.

Also in Novermber, Lionel started streaming on Twitch. It was something he had been wanting to do for a long time, and of course we’ve been very supportive parents, watching him every time he’s live. He streams on Thursdays and Sundays. He started with Dead by Daylight, a survival horror game, but lately has been playing an adventure game called Outer Wilds. If you are inclined to watch Twitch streamers, why not give him a follow or come watch a stream?

November – Democracy Strikes Back!

In November, the government shutdown ended. In the off-year election, Democrats won bigly, with a Democractic Socialist winning the election for Mayor of New York City and Democrats flipping or holding on to key governorships. It was a heartening moment after all the bad political news of the year.

Thanksgiving was at my Mom’s this year, and it was nice to see everyone there. We had a great meal and played some games (would you believe my Mom played Secret Hitler?)

As the year wound down, we had a little more free time. Well, I had the same amount of free time since I’m unemployed, but Aileen had more because of school being out. We worked on some jigsaw puzzles, played some board games including lots of Scrabble® – an old standby game for Lynches and their Barreras.

Gavin and Aileen ❤️

Christmas was at our house, and was fairly low key and lots of fun. Tiernan’s buddy Bob, who’s in the army now, was on leave and came to visit. We also got to see Gavin’s brother and sister-in-law, who came to visit from Boston. We all went to the Surrealism Centenary exhibit at the Philadelphia Art Museum – really neat and on display through February 16 of next year.

They’re all still around for the New Year holiday, which we expect to celebrate with more fun and games.

Heading into 2026

Looking back, it’s hard to believe we did so much this year! Was this really the same year as Arsenic and Old Lace, and our trip to Europe? But there it all is, recorded in our timelines on our phones and feeds, so it must be so.

If you’re in those feeds, but didn’t make it to this post, no slight is intended. I’m just summarizing a very busy year here.

We got a lot done, even as our country was falling apart, and the world order was being scrambled as America switched sides from the Allies to the Axis powers. Another thing that’s hard to believe, but there it all is, recorded in our news aggregators.

All I can say to my fellow liberals is, have heart, and keep up the good fight. To the one or two Trump supporters who might read my blog, I hope you can learn to see an alternate vision of America, not the one that MAGA offers. America will be a better place if we respect laws, even international ones that can’t be enforced, for the sake of our greater humanity. We will be a stronger place if our government is run by qualified and law-abiding people of good character, not loyalists to one unhinged man.

America’s promise to the future has been, in its best moments, a promise of freedom for all people – regardless of their race, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, and even immigration status. That, to paraphrase Martin Luther King , Jr., is how we live out the true meaning of our creed, that everyone is created equal. That is how we fulfill our ambition, as expressed by Thomas Jefferson, to be an Empire of liberty. I hope we can live up to that dream.

Peace out and Happy New Year!

Steve. Ocellus reminds you to VOTE!
Introducing Princess Potato

Introducing Princess Potato

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We have a new kitty living with us!

As you may recall, if you follow my blog, we had a cat named Sashimi. When I introduced her, I mused on the moral implications of devotion to a pet. We humans, at least in the advanced economies, have achieved a high level of comfort and ease. This we readily extend to certain non-humans that we admit into our families. And why shouldn’t we?

In 2023, Sashimi passed away, as all living creatures must inna final analysis. That left a big hole in our household’s heart, and it was a while before we were able to accept a new cat into the house. But time heals all wounds, as they say, and this year turned out to be fortuitous for this sweet creature to move in with with us: Potato the Cat.

What happened was Gavin went to Alaska for a couple weeks, so she came over from next door, back to the house where she had been originally adopted by another family.

Wait, what?

Cue tape rewind sound, as some backstory are required.

So Sashimi had a brother named Sushi. The two sibling cats came into Aileen’s life when they were thrown in a box (yes, thrown) in front of her theatre, sometime around 2010 or so. They were neglected and abandoned kittens, lucky not to have perished. Sashimi had a dead tail, which eventually fell off, and she spent her life without a tail.

Sashimi and Sushi were living with Aileen and Gavin and their two sons at the time that I came along into their lives. Sadly, Sushi died after eating a piece of metal or something. He had this unfortunate habit of eating odd things, perhaps a cope coming out of his traumatic kittenhood. It was sad that Sashimi was now alone, so her humans thought of getting her a companion.

As it turned out, their next door neighbors had just adopted a stray kitten, but were planning to move away and needed to find her a new home. So Aileen and family adopted her, and named her Potato. She moved in with them to be Sashimi’s new pal, but unfortunately the two cats did not get along very well.

Maybe Potato, too, was traumatized; she had apparently been nearly starved to death when the neighbors found her. She started off as a very reclusive cat. She would hide away in the house for hours on end, and you would only see her for short periods when she surfaced for food. Eventually she would come out to look for attention, and could be very needy.

Anyway, when the neighbors moved away, Aileen and Gavin bought their house! The plan was to move in and renovate the other house. It didn’t really work out that way, what happened instead was a global pandemic, and I moved in to the new house. I have lived there ever since. Sashimi came over to live with us, so at that point each cat had her own house.

After Sashimi died, we tried bringing Potato over occasionally, but she did not like being in the new house. Maybe Sashimi’s spirit (or odors) still lingered. Potato would complain and stay near the door so we would just bring her back. But then this summer, after we got back from Europe, Gavin went off to Alaska for a trip of his own. We didn’t like the idea of Potato being alone in the old house for two weeks, so brought her over – and this time she was comfortable with it. She stayed!

So now she has officially moved in, returning to the first house she moved into as a kitten. She has bcome very content here, and very affectionate. She joins us for TV time, and sleeps in our laps. It’s nice to have a cat again.

The Old Ways

The Old Ways

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This isn’t a very deep post today, just some fun observations.

I am a domesticated creature who typically doesn’t go out very much. Also, I am unemployed, so I don’t have anywhere to go anyway. When everyone else in the household is away at work or at school, I do have one activity for exercise – walking about town, weather permitting (I should go to the gym, but that’s another story).

I live in a shabby little town in Pennsylvania, where there are just enough side streets to create walking circuits through the small neighborhoods that bracket either side of the busy main drag (the traffic is almost all going through town).

The main drag of Morgantown, PA

Most of Pennsylvania is small, dilapidated towns – well, that and forested mountains. That’s because of the state’s irregular geography, and its historical development, which has encouraged small, localized municipalities to spring up everywhere. These patterns have also suppressed economic development, hence the dilapidation. It’s an aesthetic. This is a land that embraces its weathered past.

The myriad muncipalities are typically “townships,” though the town where our address is located is simply a “Census designated area” within a township. Don’t ask me why. I’ve blogged about life here before, which is kind of like being in a liminal space between the DEI city and the MAGA country.

The point I wanted to make with this post is that when I’ve been out walking, multiple times now cars have slowed down, and the drivers have lowered their window to ask me for directions! Like, don’t they have a smartphone for navigational purposes? Apparently, not everyone does.

Not to stereotype here, but invariably the driver will be an older white person – a Boomer, I’m sure. Ok, maybe they could be a Gen Xer since our generation is now entering its early 60s, but I’m pretty sure they are Boomers. They might be looking at a piece of paper, presumably with the directions they were trying to follow written on them, but as often happens with that old fashioned approach, they wrote something down that turned out to be illegible. I’m making up a story here.

Of course, I am happy to help these lost drivers, and I always can, since I have a smartphone. Which the drivers would know, since my phone is always out, because as I walk I play a casual game called Pikmin Bloom. Some of us here embrace the new ways of doing things. I just thought it was interesting that there are still people out there following the old ways.

Italy Trip Retrospective

Italy Trip Retrospective

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We’re back from our trip to Europe! As I wrote in my last post, we traveled to Paris, from there toured Italy, including Rome, then returned to Paris for a few days. I was really excited to visit these iconic cities, steeped in ancient and medieval history. Here is a little retrospective on how the trip went.

We certainly had a lot of fun, seeing new places and experiencing the cultural differences between two European countries and our native home, the United States. We had to adjust to new languages (though plenty of people spoke English in both France and Italy) and to new protocols of etiquette. We had to learn technical aspects of navigating the ground like how streets are identified and how the trains and subways work (we were traveling entirely by public transit, so at least we didn’t have to figure out driving!). We hit snags right away – even just getting out of the airport in Paris and on to the right train to the city proved challenging, as we tried to understand the ticketing system and work around the language barrier with the attendants.

I enjoyed being immersed in these Old World locales, even though it was disorienting at first and it took some time for us to become confident city-hopping travelers. Paris I thought was a very modern city, elegant and beautiful in its core, though in its outskirts it had urban blight to rival that of the Philly area where we live (that’s saying a lot). Paris felt cosmopolitan – a world city – whereas the Italian towns and cities, including Rome, were Italian – in your face with their history and culture and cuisine. Where Paris was elegant and baroque in its beauty, Italy outside of Rome was rustic and charming, and being there felt like stepping back in time. Rome was an insane chaos of monuments and buildings from all of human time, with all of the human race crowded into it taking selfies. It was an exhausting madhouse and I absolutely loved it.

One fun thing that happened on our trip is that we met up with our friend Kim, a seasoned international travel who was in the region and spent a day with us in Rome. We toured the catacombs of St. Calixtus with her, and hung out with her in the Renaissance-Baroque part of the city (to the north of the ancient ruins part). It was quite a treat to meet up with a friend from Pennsylvania while we were halfway around the world from home.

On our journey, I have to admit, I would sometimes hit a wall, overwhelmed by the novelty of our situation. I had this bad habit of panicking and freezing up, which was not conducive to getting around, and would upset Aileen. As a group we had conflicts, sometimes when we got lost, and sometimes when we pushed too hard. The latter was mostly because I was manically trying to see as much as possible, motivated by anxiety about the prospect that this was my one and only chance. This was not how Aileen wanted to vacation – she wanted to relax!

We had a good talk about these issues when we were in Rome, and agreed to be more communicative, and more open to one another’s needs, and that we should slow our pace down a bit. The overall tone of our vacation improved after this talk (led by Aileen, who has the high emotional intelligence quotient in our group). I think it’s fair to say that we learned as much about ourselves as about the places we were visiting on this trip. It was a tempering test of us as a vacationing trio, and we came out stronger and, I’d like to think, ready for more international travel.

Could we have prepared better? It’s hard to say. We did watch a lot of YouTube videos by experienced travelers before leaving, which gave us some good advice and a lot of other advice that turned out to be bunk. I tried to pick up conversational French and Italian by studying phrasebooks, but nothing stuck. I think our approach of just diving in worked out, and we learned enough to make some adjustments to how we pack for travel, and to how we spend our time and money once we reach our destination, for the next time.

Here are a few quick tips for the American on a short touristy trip to Europe:

  • Take the bus tours! They are worth the high ticket price, since they save you so much walking. We did it in Paris and I wish we had done it in Rome.

Owning being tourists at the Trevi Fountain
  • Don’t worry about looking like a tourist. You are in a tourist destination surrounded by other tourists. Just own it.

  • In the same vein, don’t try too hard to speak the language of the country you are visiting (assuming you are not actually a fluent speaker). Learn to say hello, please, and thank you, and be polite. You’ll get by just fine.

  • Don’t do table dine-in every meal. It won’t always be a great experience, and you can enjoy take out or even food prepared in your rental accomodations just as well. This won’t only save money; it will also save time and hassle.

  • Your debit and credit cards from American banks should work in Europe, though you might want to doublecheck with your bank that your debit card is activated for international use. Debit card transactions will have a fee tacked on, but credit card transactions won’t. And cash is handy, so I recommend getting some Euro bills and coins – your U.S. bank should be able to provide them.

In addition to our bank cards working seamlessly, our smartphones did as well, after upgrading our Google Fi family plan for the duration. Having this indispensable tool of modern living handy at all times definitely made it easier to overcome the culture shock and to navigate the unfamiliar terrain. Google search came to the rescue many times. Aileen had visited there 20 years earlier, but what a different experience it was without the Internet in her pocket. I don’t know if I could have done this without a smartphone, but then again I can’t remember at all what life was like before they became a commonplace.

Even though I had my smartphone, I didn’t bother keeping up with the news. I didn’t want the distraction, and I found that, as time blurred and I forgot what day of the week it was, I also forgot all about U.S. politics. It seemed so distant and insignificant. We did tune in to the news on TVs in our rentals on occasion, just to see what it was like, even though we couldn’t understand the newcasters hardly at all. The big stories were Gaza and Ukraine, and local politics. Occassionally there would be some passing reference to something the U.S. was up to, but it didn’t seem like it mattered much to Europeans. Or even to us, so far from home, which is weird for me to say since I obsessively blog about politics. I almost questioned if I should bother any more!

One thing I did do with my smartphone was take lots of pictures and post them on Facebook, contrary to the statement I made at the end of my last post. It was just so easy to keep up with this familiar pattern of behavior, in this age of the pervasive Internet.

My beloved Renaissance wall in Lucca, complete with bastions

It’s good to be back in the U.S., though I must admit I felt a little “reverse culture shock” on coming home. Dulles airport seemed kind of sparse and – shall I say it – provincial, compared to Charles de Gaulle. I noticed that the announcements were in English – as in just English – whereas at CDG they had been in French, English, and Mandarin. I guess we know where the Chinese middle class is going on vacation. And Americans are definitely dressed down compared to Europeans, and also friendlier and more easygoing. We’re a people who embrace a casual way of life, no doubt about it.

As I said, I think we got bit by the international travel bug, and I hope we do this again, maybe next year? I know Tiernan would really like to visit Japan. I thought we might try a place where English is the native language – I’ve never been to the British Isles, or to the land down under. If we went to Scotland, maybe Gavin would join us? A world of possibility lies before us.

We’re Going to Italy!

We’re Going to Italy!

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I’m really excited to announce that Aileen, Tiernan and I will be taking a trip to Europe in the second half of this month. We’re flying to Paris on May 17th, and from there touring by bus to Italy by way of Milan, and onward to Cinque Terre, Tuscany and Rome. It’s a trip of a lifetime for me, as I’ve always wanted to see the iconic sights of these destinations, and to steep in their ancient and medieval history. I have been to Spain and the south of France, but never to Paris or to Italy. Aileen has been to these places, but she’s a sweetheart and wants me to get the chance to experience them, too, so was willing to repeat the trip. Tiernan says he doesn’t care about where he is; he just likes being with us.

In addition to the enticement of visiting well-known touristy locations, seeing the ruins of the old Roman Empire, and enjoying delicious cuisine and wine, I am excited about the fact that our itinerary more or less overlaps with a famous expedition in military history. This would be the route taken by the French King Charles VIII when he invaded Italy in 1494, kicking off what are known as the Italian Wars.

Map is from this site: https://jostwald.wordpress.com/tag/italian-wars/

These wars were pivotal in military history, as they marked the transition from the medieval to the modern era in warfare, when gunpowder weapons started coming into common use, replacing the old way of fighting with muscle and steel. They introduced what is called a “revolution in military affairs,” which caused a significant shift in the balance of power. When Charles VIII invaded, it was clear to all that advancements in the development of siege artillery (cannons) had made the medieval castle, long dominant in European affairs, suddenly obsolete. This completely undermined the power of nobles to resist their kings, in time ending the feudal system of the Middle Ages and bringing about the early modern age of absolute monarchy.

This watershed moment in the evolution of politics has been identified as the dawn of the modern “state” – understood to be a political abstraction that exists independently of the people who comprise it. The state arose from the necessities imposed on the wealthy Italian cities caught up in these wars. In the face of military advancements, they now needed extensive new defensive constructions and large, reliable armies – and the fiscal apparatus to maintain these. They needed permanent ambassadorial legations in one another’s courts, and espionage networks to keep up with shifting alliances. In the course of this evolutionary process, sovereignty shifted from the person of the ruler, where it had resided in the medieval conception, to the bureaucratic state constituted to serve the ruler.

A seminal figure of the time period was the political philosopher Niccolò Machiavelli. His famous work, The Prince, is often interpreted as an apology for tyranny. According to Philip Bobbitt’s excellent book The Garments of Court and Palace, Machiavelli’s real argument was to distinguish between a ruler’s personal and governing ethos. In other words, in the context of ruling the state, in the interests of the society for which it was constituted, a ruler should not be expected to behave according to standards of personal morality, as codes of honor had demanded of medieval princes. A new political era had arrived.

In the democratic revolutions that came in later centuries, the concept of sovereignty shifted even further. The state evolved, from an entity that served as a tool by which the prince’s will was exerted, to a formal representation of the will of the people. It was no longer ruled by a monarch, but rather administered by representative officials – at least in theory. But in the course of this evolution, the thorny problem of how the state can serve its constituent’s needs and also avoid moral transgression remains unsolved, as testified by the killing fields of modern times.

Yes, these are the thoughts inspired in me by taking a trip to Italy. On the path followed by the invading forces of a French king in the 15th century, many Renaissance-era structures still stand in the 21st century. For example, the city of Lucca, where we’ll be staying at one point, retains the walls that were constructed starting in 1504 – part of the wave of defensive fortifications that sprang up in the aftermath of Charles VIII’s campaign.

I’m bringing along a copy of The Art of War in Italy by F. L. Taylor, considered a classic in the field of military history. As I read it, I will be looking for signs of its lessons in my surroundings.

I will have my smartphone with me, but not my laptop, and probably won’t post much for a few weeks.

Wish us a bon voyage!

Our Awesome Christmas Tree this Year

Our Awesome Christmas Tree this Year

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This is our Christmas tree for 2024. Pretty cool, huh?

Aileen wanted to do something different this year, and we contemplated making a tree out of books, or making one of out wine bottles. The latter idea was appealing because we have all these wine bottles with LED lights in them that we put together some years ago.

When we looked up making a tree of books, we realized that we would need hundreds of books to make it work. We had some books in stacks that we didn’t have shelving for, but not nearly that many, and didn’t want to unshelve our whole book collection. Then Aileen got the idea of stacking a couple of round tables and putting the globe on top, and then maybe putting books on the tables for a tree effect, which might require fewer books.

But she found it hard to get the books to look right, since she had to fit them in between the legs of the tables. She started experimenting with putting other things on the table, like those fancy boxes you can see there, and discovered that expanding the options gave her more versatility. A Christmas tree shape emerged out of the miscellany of objects she selected, at which point she really got into the process.

I’m a bit of a lumbering bear, so I didn’t dare try to help with the placement and careful balancing of the variety of objects. I did help by changing the batteries on the LEDs in the bottles, so that they would all be nice and bright on the occasions that we turn them on (we can’t just leave them on because they drain fast).

I love the way it turned out. I love the eclectic mix of objects, and how they mostly have muted colors and look “antique-y.” As a whole it’s like a sculpture with a “cluttercore” aesthetic, which suits our house (we have a lot of stuff). I love that Godzilla is in it, and the Fourth Turning book, and that there are pictures of our loved ones from the young generation.

Aileen calls it our holiday magic tree sculpture and says that everything in it means something.

Plus, our decorating is done for the season! 🙂

Boardgames For Just the Two of Us

Boardgames For Just the Two of Us

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When I lived in North Carolina, I used to go to a lot of game nights at people’s houses or at game stores, and play multiplayer tabletop board games. When Aileen came into my life, my priorities changed – I started traveling more, and going to see shows. But I kept up the gaming when I could, and Aileen joined me sometimes, even going to some of the same game nights and game conventions I was used to attending.

Then I moved to Pennsylvania, into an apartment about halfway between Aileen’s house and where I worked. I made an effort to recreate my gaming lifestyle, by going to a game store nearby that had open boardgaming on Friday evenings. I had only just started to make a habit of it and make friends there, when along came the pandemic.

During lockdown, I moved in with Aileen. There would be no game stores or game conventions for awhile, but we did play a lot of two player games. And still do. I’m very lucky to have a BFF who will play boardgames with me. Shared interests and activities is part of what makes our partnership work.

The games we like to play come in different forms. Many of them are lighter games, for when we have limited time or energy. They take an hour or so to play, and usually are in the modern vein of games that require strategic thinking. They are complicated enough to be challenging but simple enough that we might also bring them with us when traveling and be able to convince others to play with us. They are multiplayer but they play fine with just two players. Here are a few examples:

An old (1980s) photo of me playing Scrabble with Aileen.

A perennial favorite is Scrabble, which is easy to set up, and can even be played when a little unfocused, with the TV on and while socializing. Aileen and I have been playing since we first met as teenagers, long ago.

Scrabble has also always been a popular game in the extended Barrera family, one which we often play at family gatherings. I remember playing with my chain-smoking, hard-drinking aunts when I was growing up; they taught me that the game can be competitive and can be played ruthlessly.

When it’s just the two of us, Aileen and I often play modern-style games that are designed for two players, of which there are many in this Golden Age of boardgames. These also tend to be lighter, with quick set up and small footprints. Here is a short list of specifically two-player games we have played a lot:

Now my favorite kind of strategy board game is one that’s a bit heavier and takes at least a couple of hours to play. These require a more serious commitment of time and energy, as well as ample table space. Luckily for me, there are some of these that Aileen likes and is willing to play. The one we’ve played the most is Castles of Mad King Ludwig, which we call “the castle game.” If you follow me on social media, you have seen me post lots of pictures of the castles I’ve built.

Another one is Grand Austria Hotel, which we call “the hotel game,” and have even played while staying at hotels. This sometimes requires some creativity finding enough surface space to set up the game.

I made a more or less complete list of these kinds of heavier games that we play in two-player mode. I did this on BoardGameGeek using a format called a “GeekList.” I’ve already brought up BoardGameGeek session reports on this blog. A GeekList is another way one can contribute on that site; it can also be a convenient way to track games or even to hold an exchange or auction of some kind.

In the case of this GeekList I made, it’s just a collection of… My Favorite Medium Weight Multiplayer Games to Play with 2 Players. I hope you enjoy looking through it and, if you are lucky enough like me to have someone to play with, I highly recommend the games on this list as suitable for just two players.

Reunion, or “Happy Birdeversary!”

Reunion, or “Happy Birdeversary!”

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As mentioned in a recent post, where I reviewed a book by a Gen X author, the girl and I went to our 40th year high school reunion at the end of September. Another milestone in this year of milestones.

I had been resisting going, since we already went to our 30th reunion in 2013. I mean, that was how Aileen and I reconnected, a story which has been partially revealed in this blog. Was there any reason to go back again, now that our own personal tale of reunion was complete?

But one of our classmates, Melanie, kept asking us about going and hanging out, and in the end we relented. It was too late to get a ticket to the main reunion event, which had sold out, but we could still show up at the informal events, and even hang out at the bar at the restaurant where the main event was, and meet up with people.

We got there on Friday, in time to join the homecoming parade, in which we marched, along with Melanie and about a dozen of our other classmates. I should mention that this was in Reston, Virginia, where Aileen and I met when we were teenagers, and that our school is South Lakes High School.

This was the first and only time in my life that I was ever in a parade. Our class was close to the front, after the marching band. Notably, our class of 1983 was the first one to fully occupy SLHS for all four years of high school, since the school was founded in 1979. So I guess that makes us kind of special, like we are the first ancestor generation of SLHS graduates.

As we walked the 1.8 miles from the starting location to our high school, the spectators lining the road cheered us on, often expressing surprise and delight to see graduates from so far back in time. “We’re old, but we’re still going!” we let them know.

The class of 1983 comes home to SLHS (40th reunion, September 2023).

You might recognize me and Aileen there on the left, wearing the caps. Melanie is in green in the center, and our two classmates who did the organizing to get us all together, Kathy and Sarah, are on the far right.

Not everyone from our class is still alive, naturally. To honor those who have passed away, their names were added to the banner. In that way they could march with us.

Names of our classmates who have passed away on our class banner.

After the parade, we went to a restaurant in Reston at Lake Anne Plaza to meet up with even more of our classmates. On the way, for fun, we drove by the house where Aileen used to live, and where I would frequently go to visit her, in our high school years. It looked very much the same, though we did note that there were a lot more cars than we used to remember in the neighborhood, which seemed a little rundown. It could be that the neighborhood is just old, like we are, or it could be that we remember it through rose colored glasses.

Reston is an interesting place. It was founded in 1964 as a “planned community,” meant to embody a new post-war ideal of land use that included ample green space, with room for both residential and commerical zones to develop in tandem, as well as room for both pedestrian and automobile traffic. With lots of walking paths and wide roads through wooded areas, and residential neighborhoods intermingled with commercial plazas, it’s sort of a middle-class consumer car culture utopia.

Having been founded around the time I was born, Reston is about my age; about the same age as everyone in my high school class, in fact. With its dated architecture of buildings and houses constructed during the Gen X childhood era, this town feels like a creche built just for our generation.

I remember it well from my teenage years. As we drove through town on our way to Lake Anne, I admired how nice Reston still looks, even as it evoked this nostalgic feeling. “I could move back here,” I told Aileen. But that is a highly unlikely scenario.

As it turned out, Aileen and I were able to get into the main reunion event after all, as not everyone who had reserved a spot was able to come. This happened on Saturday evening, in an events room at a nice restaurrant. I believe there were about 90 people attending, and the space was a bit small, so it felt crowded. We were a fairly large class; almost 400 people, and for a quarter of them to show up for the event is impressive, in my opinion. And many who couldn’t make it commented on the Facebook group, participating in spirit.

I had a great time, and very much enjoyed the feeling of solidarity with my old high school class. Many of the people from the 30th reunion in 2013 were there, and those are the folks I remembered the best. Back in my school days, I was kind of on the periphery, and honestly didn’t know most of my classmates. I hung out with the freaks and geeks, with the punk rockers and the stoners, who probably mostly didn’t show up for this occasion. If you’re from my class and don’t remember me, well that’s OK. It was so long ago, after all.

Aileen and Mr. Wareham, recreating a shot from the 1983 yearbook.

Our old high school principal, Mr. Wareham, was there! He is 84 years old. We chatted briefly, though it was hard to understand him in the noisy space. I learned that, after retiring from South Lakes, Mr. Wareham took postings overseas so he could travel the world. There was something comforting about his presence at the event, like it established a continuity with those distant but formative school years. And it helped me feel less old, knowing that an adult who was an authority figure in my late childhood is still alive.

I can’t deny, though, that going to your 40th high school reunion will make you feel old. We’re all deep in middle age now, many of us with adult children, divorces and remarriages, on their second careers or even retired already. Where did all those years go?

And yet I can attest that at a reunion, as was also the case ten years ago at our 30th, it feels very much like you are back from where you started, with all those same people you grew up with. It’s the same peer group, with the same social relationships, and the same personality types. No one’s really changed all that much. You’ve all just grown older.

As I said, we had a great time. Lots of pictures were taken, we enjoyed some food and beverage, listened to 1980s music, and had some good conversations. Late in the night we said our goodbyes. I have a feeling we will be back for the 50th in 2033, or the 45th in 2028, should that come together.

In retrospect, I thought that the 40th reunion felt more chill than the 30th, like we had all mellowed out a bit. The energy at the 30th was more hyped, with more anxiety and anticipation in the air. Maybe because we were all in our 40s instead of our 50s. Maybe because it had been a longer time (even longer than 10 years) since we had last seen one another.

The 30th reunion was the event in which Aileen and I reconnected, when I was still living in North Carolina. We had known each other in school, were very good friends, and dated when we were in college. After our mutual breakup which was totally mutual, we stayed in touch, and saw each other a few times in the 90s. But we didn’t see each other in the 2000s, not until the reunion in 2013.

Back then, we had recently connected on Facebook. It’s a common enough experience for Gen Xers to have reconnected with their old school friends on that site, and sort of gotten a fast forward catchup on everything that happened to one another in the past twenty years, before there was social media. Aileen, for example, now had two sons. I had a house.

In 2013, Aileen kept sending me posts and messages, asking me to come to the reunion, until I finally relented. When we met up during the day, before the main event, it was like we had never been apart. When I looked at he face, I saw the girl I knew thirty years earlier. It was October 19, the same day that I’m writing this, and we went to a matinee of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, and just enjoyed one another. We still call this day our “birdeversary.” At the reunion event, we danced together, had a wonderful time, then went our separate ways.

The next year, I called Aileen on her birthday. From that point on, our relationship just kept building. We started visiting each other, and then, as you may know, in 2018 I sold my house in North Carolina, moved up to Pennsylvania, and now live with her in her house.

This whole story was news to some of our classmates at the 40th reunion. But at least one of them was tracking, and had some kind thoughts to share about us. He called us the “feel good story of the last decade.”

It does feel good to be reunited, to be connected and in a family. I honestly think that I would not be in a healthy place if I had stayed single and alone in my house in North Carolina, though I do miss the area and the friends I made there. And though I was mostly comfortable in solitude, a voice inside me was urging me to get out and find someone, and luckily, Aileen found me.

Staying connected, even if only through a support network of trusted friends and family, is crucial to your well-being. It leads to better outcomes in life; I know it has for mine. It is in being together with others that we ensure a happy future for ourselves.

And Just Like That, He Was Overemployed Again

And Just Like That, He Was Overemployed Again

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I hope the dear reader will excuse me for bragging, but I have to say that I am proud of myself for finding work again so quickly. My last day at my previous company was February 28th; I had an interview with my new company on March 1st, during which they made an offer. I accepted the position, which is 100% remote, with a start date of March 20.

There was a little tension as I waited for the background check to clear, as well as the drug test (!), which I haven’t had to take for a job in a long time. Meanwhile, I was “funemployed” for a couple of weeks, including a week which coincided with Aileen’s spring break from her University job. You would think I would have gotten a lot done, been super chill and relaxed all the time, but it didn’t seem to turn out that way. Aileen says I was a very cranky bear! All play and no work makes Steve a dull boy, I guess.

Once I was cleared and they shipped my equipment, it felt more like a sure thing, and I think my mood improved. It was kind of exciting to be doing a 100% remote onboarding, as this is my first time. I was feeling like I had mastered this new mode of remote work that has come with the 2020s, by proving I was able to switch jobs and stay remote. I was told to expect an email (to my personal account) early on Monday morning with login instructions for the work laptop. All I could do was set it up and wait over the weekend, which was filled with shows for the Independence Awards anyway.

Aileen made sure I got up early on Monday (thank you!) and sure enough, an email came just before 8 AM. I was able to log in, get oriented, and start meeting my colleagues and learning about the project(s) I will be on. In some ways, it’s the same as it ever was; it’s much the same kind of work, just with a different organization. This org, I will say, has embraced the remote work paradigm (as was explained to me during the interview), which partly explains how this all come together.

So now my days are filled with work once more, and then again my evenings, as high school theatre season is in full swing. When will I have time for books, games, and TV? (Aileen is laughing right now, because she knows how much of all those pastimes I squeeze into my waking moments). I’m very lucky, of course, that I have an email laptop job, which makes 100% remote work possible, and that I am able to work at this stage of my life, when I most need to be saving for retirement. Overemployed I may be, but life treats me well.

PS: Sashimi the cat is doing OK, eating well but she is very drooly.

You’re Never Lost when You’re with Your Best Friend

You’re Never Lost when You’re with Your Best Friend

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This is one of my favorite pictures of Aileen (one of many favorite pictures of her), taken in a kind of makeshift maze at a Renaissance Faire in Pennsylvania some years ago. She’s peeking playfully at me from behind a maze wall. We’re having fun, even though a maze has danger associated with it. It’s a place where you might get lost. But what does that matter if you are with your best friend? When you’re with the one you are meant to be with, you can’t get lost. You don’t even have anywhere to go.

Aileen and I have been more or less constant companions for years now. It started when we reunited at our 30th year high school reunion. We saw more and more of each other after that, and I relocated to be nearer to her. Then the pandemic came and the circumstances put us even closer together as I moved into her house. It was a test of our relationship – could we stand each other day in and day out for years? Could I fit in with the rest of her family? Turned out we all could. The pandemic was easy on us.

The only thing is, Aileen doesn’t handle sitting around at home all the time quite as well as I do. She needs to have work to do, some project to be doing, or she goes crazy (she’ll tell you she was already crazy). The lockdowns really hurt her industry, which is theatre, and she had to find other work when she could get it. But now that we’re coming out on the other side of the pandemic (maybe) she is deluged with work again. She might be going a little crazy with too much to do! But I know she’s happy for it, and I’m always amazed by her commitment and by how much she can get done. We both keep as busy as we can with multiple projects, like we’re running out of time.

Today is Aileen’s birthday, and I wrote this post to share how much I appreciate her in my life. We’re a couple of old fools getting older together. Ten years ago I never would have thought this is where I’d be in life. But now it only seems natural. We’ve known one another and loved one another since we were crazy kids in high school. We don’t even remember meeting; one of our inside jokes is that we must have known each other forever. Depending on your spiritual perspective, this may well be true.

Happy Birthday to you, Aileen, my dearest friend and my partner in life. Here’s to many, many more years together forever.