On Regret
A wise man once said, “the funny thing about regret is that it’s better to regret something you have done than to regret something that you haven’t done.”

When the Buddha Bear thinks on regret, what comes to mind the most is regret in love. Who hasn’t looked back at their past and wondered at missed opportunities, or mistakes made, in the realm of romance and love?
I know, I know. The Buddha Bear has opined before about the difficulty of living in the past and how regret limits us in the present moment, the only moment we truly have. But certainly we can think about what regret means and how understanding it can inform our choices in the present.
That funny thing about regret holds true because action is what makes consequences knowable. Action allows us to discover ourselves and the nature of our circumstances, where inaction can only lead to us questioning, “what if…?”
Inaction can come from negative conditioning, from hesitancy and fear that result from previous bad experiences. We get burned in love once, and can never love again: it is a familiar story. But if we stop ourselves forever from acting on the impulses of love, we shut ourselves off from a whole world of possibilities.
Certainly there are prudent reasons to refrain from acting on romantic desire, one might say. The obvious one is that one might be romantically attached already, and not wish to betray one’s lover’s faith.
But even for those who are single, there are prudential concerns. Consider the scenario of finding one of your coworkers attractive. If you act on your desires, you might imperil your job. You might be accused of harassment.
There’s a reason there are prescribed methods for seeking romantic relationships – dating apps, for example. This makes it clear what the boundaries are and generally the workplace is not considered appropriate for seeking a romantic partner.
Even if a coworker reciprocated your feelings, and you were able to make something work out, there are problems with mixing work and romance. It could complicate your lives, and the ability to find work-life balance. It could be disruptive for your other coworkers, causing them to question your biases, or provoking jealousy.
But consider the other side of the coin. True love is a hard thing to find. If it comes to you, even in the workplace, you should seize it! Why should you let such nuances of social convention hinder you from finding happiness in this short life?
I hope you don’t think the Buddha Bear is advising you to recklessly pursue every love interest you encounter, like some blundering Casanova. He only means to say that when life presents you with possibilities, which is all that it does, the only way to manifest an outcome is to make a choice.
Even if the choice is a mistake, some good might come of it. And playing it safe and doing nothing isn’t necessarily the best option. There may be someone whom you think of as a dear friend, yet something more might be there, in possibility. How will you know if you don’t take a chance?
So take that chance – it might be the only way to avoid regret.
As a wise woman said, “my advice is always answer the question better that than to ask it all your life.”
This post was inspired in part by this sad and wistful song from Taylor Swift’s latest album. Yes, a Buddha Bear can listen to pop music; it is a treasure of trove of insights into the meaning of life.
Let the wisdom of the Buddha Bear guide you!




















